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BE A FATHER TO YOUR CHILD 

I found the book "BE A FATHER TO YOUR CHILD BAF (REAL TALK FROM BLACK MEN ON FAMILY, LOVE, AND FATHERHOOD)" to be very intriguing & enlightening. It opened up alot of emotions within me about my own relationship with my father who became an absentee dad when I was a year old. Having that experience as a black female certainly allowed me to be able to relate to some of these gentlemen.

Some of the gentlemen addressed the issue even dating some viewpoints all the way back to slavery. I have asked myself what happened as well. I grew up in the 50's and then our black men were in the home in my community down South. Just like some of the accounts in the book, I recall that somewhere around the 70's or 80's things changed. Was it Women's Liberation, the hippy period - the age of Aquarius? I don't know that much about the HIP HOP era, but what I do know is that this book has changed my life.

It wasn't surprising for me to read in "BAF" that the men were angry and sometimes selfish & immature when not being raised by a father in the home. This book gives me a greater appreciation for any young black male who has & is being raised without their own father (or a good father figure)in the home. It must be exremely hard to not know how to grow up to be a man with everyone looking at you acting as if you should already know. Plus, this makes me realize that we black women should try to recognize some of these issues with our black men & try to help them, not degrade them because of it. That phrase "you're just like your father" is mainly a putdown not a compliment.

I feel that the author, April R. Silver & the gentlemen interviewed has served the African American culture well from the accounts documented in "BAF". The book really shatters society's and even our own Black culture's protrayal sometimes of our Black men as uncouth men without exploring the bigger picture of why are there so many absentee Black men/fathers in the home. Better still - what can be done to positively eradicate this dilemna?

Being single & over 50, I know that I must treat my fellow Black man openly & gently. I must listen & be more sensitive to HIS world. The caucasian women aren't marrying our wealthy Black athlete's, movie stars, businessmen, & etc just by coincidence! They are treating them like the Kings & Priests that they are! They are listening to them, understanding them, not blaming them for everything that's wrong with THEIR world. They are not telling them that "I DON'T NEED A MAN, because I was handling things before you came... If you don't, I know someone else who will". What about that my ebony sistas?

I am proud to be an African American female who has read "BE A FATHER TO YOUR CHILD" which came from the minds of some intelligent, brave, courageous, thoughtful, endearing, engaging, & honest, Black men who unselfishly shared their past with us. How forthcoming they were. I did not want the book to end. Thank you to each gentlemen for sharing part of your heart & soul with me. Most of all, thank you April R. Silver for bringing this masterpiece of art altogether and being the "mastermind" of it all. Two thumbs up! I recommend this book to all counselors, African American women & men, teachers, principals, librarys, scholars, ministers of the gospel, book clubs, Boys & Girls clubs, debate teams, coaches/athletes, & anyone else who comes in contact with OUR young, Black, male children. Do you hear me Oprah